Stories
of my life: Anecdotes.
Au
Pair Life:
Standing on a
barstool killing Mosquitos, the kids compliment me: Laura you are a super
hero!“ ... As easy as 1,2,3.
Sam: “Laura there
is a land in Germany right, Laura?”
L: “Yeah... Do you mean Legoland?”
Sam:
“Yes, Legoland. It's on fire, Laura. Let's play it's on fire.”
"Dinner"
with the kids at Chick-fil-a. In Sweatpants. American Way of Life.
Kid jokes: Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
Kid jokes: Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
Kid: 'is she your mom?' my kid: 'no she's NOT my mom!' other kid: 'she's
his nanny' my kid: 'NOOO she's not. She's LORA'
Paper Airplanes it is…!
“LOOORA.”
Eli (4) walking with his hands in his pants: Me: El don't itch your butt, please. E: But Laura it stings! Me: But Eli if your but stings it means you need to wash it better. E: No Laura it just needs some air. Pulls his pants down so his butt can get some air and goes on walking through the parking lot.
Eli (4) walking with his hands in his pants: Me: El don't itch your butt, please. E: But Laura it stings! Me: But Eli if your but stings it means you need to wash it better. E: No Laura it just needs some air. Pulls his pants down so his butt can get some air and goes on walking through the parking lot.
After having
Popsicles at the pool I say: In Germany they have french fries at most pools.
Sammy (3) says: Lora, stop telling all your Germany stories.
Aupairlife.
L: “Sammy, you
know you could take your brothers and come visit me in Germany. Do you want
to?” Sam (3): “Noooo, nevaaaaaaa. L: “Oh, what about France?” “Nooooo, no, no,
nevaaaaaa.” Other kid’s dad: “Right on
Sam, be patriotic, why care about other countries when you live in America.” J
Boulder
Life:
Favorite Bartender: “…Because I love you Laura.”
L: Awww I love you too
and I love your hair!”
Conversations like this should raise concern.
Bum and Laura at stoplight.
Bum (slightly aggressive): "Hey girl
you know where to get drugs?"
Laura ignores him.
Bum (bit more
aggressive): "HEY GIRL YOU KNOW WHERE TO GET DRUGS?" Laura: "I'm
really sorry but I don't."
Story of my life.
You know you live in a really fit town when the average age at the gym
is 40+ and they all have hotter bodies than the 20 somethings.... That's what's
up.
Bum in Boulder (in front of all his “bum” friends): “Heeeeey girl, you
mighty fine.” “You are so beautiful.” “Any boy that can get his hand on you
should feel so special.” “ You beautiful. Those eyes...”
Beautiful bum compliments. Always made my day…
Deutschland
Stories
Laura allein in Steele. Nicht so coole Jungs vor der Haustür.
"Hi, wie geht's". "Noch gut ?!" "Boah das war jetzt
aber ein bisschen gemein findste nicht ?" "Nee..."
Ein anderer:
"Ey, hi, ich habe heute Geburtstag." "Na dann Happy
Birthday" "Krieg ich nen Kuss ?" "Nein man ! " Alle
total empört: " Boah warum denn nicht ?" Ich schließe die Tür auf:
"Boah komm wir schlafen alle bei der." AAAAAAAH. Steele.
Email Uni Essen:
Sehr geehrte Frau Olbrich,
bei
einer Routinekontrolle haben wir festgestellt, dass sich in Ihrem Schließfach
Nr. 119 zwei Päckchen Schokoreis-Waffeln befinden.
Würden Sie diese bitte
umgehend entnehmen, da mit Ausnahme verschließbarer Wasserflaschen in den
Schließfächern keine Lebensmittel aufbewahrt werden dürfen? Vielen Dank!
Bitte
beachten Sie in Zukunft die Nutzungsregeln
.
I was like " Warum ist die Musik so leise? Die wollen sich
unterhalten ?" and then she was like "Verdammt, die können sich bei
Facebook unterhalten." (NYE 2011)
Babysitten:
"Laura kennst du Verstehen Sie Spass? Das ist soo toll. Das ist soo
lustig." "Nee Verstehen Sie Spass finde ich nicht so toll."
"Warum denn nicht?" "Weiss nicht." "Wahrscheinlich ist
das weil du keinen Spass verstehst. Verstehst du keinen Spass?" "Haha
Anna die Laura versteht keinen Spass. Haha"
"Komm,
Laura lass uns Fußball spielen"
"Okay" "Gut, dann gehst du
ins Tor, weil du bist Ratajczak"
"Fritz und ich spielen
gegeneinander" "Achso ja, und in welchen Mannschaften seid ihr
?" Na beide Fortuna !".....
"Dann bin ich Beister" (Fritz
schon fast am weinen): "Oh man, Oskar, ich wollte Beister sein."
"Nee, der bin ich aber jetzt, du kannst ja Rösler sein" "Okay,
dann bin ich aber Rösler UND Lumpi."
„Gute Nacht Fritz!" "Ehm. Laura ich möchte aber keinen
Kaugummikuss."
One night in Hays:
Kendra on my Fb wall: “Haha laura idk if u remeber this but last night
some goes ‘oh my gosh a guy just crashed on his bike and got a concussion.’
You-‘sooo can we go to the home yet?” J
Other stories from my life (and lessons learned):
“La OO raw.”
Venice Boulevard: "you girls looking for a marijuana store?"
"no thank you" guy quite startled "are you serious?"
Dreams are the spark plugs of life, providing the fuel and motivation to
keep you focused on your goals.
If you can dream it you can do it.
Girls eat food and average does not get you anywhere.
Laura and Calli sitting somewhere in Little Ethopia, LA. Old black dude
walks by, looks at us, keeps walking, looks back, points at Calli: "She's
got a pretty nice tan.“ “….She looks like Brooke Shields.“
