"Where is your accent from? I love it!"
Being called out for sounding SO German. Story of my life and so frustrating!
Throughout my various stays abroad, the accent is a conversation opener. People who are close to me tell me straight to my face that I do not sound American at all. However, older generations and people more distant to me are surprised by the "not-so-typically-German" accent; they sometimes compliment me for sounding more American. Oh, thank you.
Fact is: being called out for my accent annoys me a lot and I have thought about this issue a lot. I am no perfectionist but concerning my language skills, I become frustrated easily, because I do want to be able speak English as good as I can. I assume any speaker of a foreign language should feel that way, because without reflecting one's own language skills, there will not be improvement. I have long thought about doing a pronunciation class and am still planning on doing it. When I tell this to people, I hear comments such as " Oh no, don't do it, it's not that bad, really, it sounds great!". Just today, I was asked about my accent due to my email address, which ends in .de and always tells that I am a foreigenr. No matter how hard I try to go undercover. The ending ".de" certainly isn't an easy one to figure out, sometimes people aren't even aware of the fact that different countries have different domains. "What does .de stand for?" is a common question that I answer with "Why, that's Germany, Deutschland." One good guess today was ".de" for Denmark, but then my accent threw her off. Oh bummer. I was assured that it was very cute and just the perfect amount and that I should be proud of it. Alright, point taken, it is part of me, it defines who I am and where I am from, I can live with it.
I am thankful for everyone who has ever pointed out my poor pronunciation skills, because as agitated as I get about it at times, by now I am more aware of my imperfect language skills than ever and will make sure to improve them. When I really think about it I'd not have it any other way: I rather am aware of my imperfections than being told it's all perfect.
Being blunt is a trait usually uncommon in Americans, therefore I am surprised by the quite clear comments that I have gotten so far in regards to my language skills. Especially when it comes from citizen's of a country which for a long time has been so oblivious to learning foreign languages.
Think about it America, aren't you the country that is just now admitting that being multilingual is becoming more and more important in our job world? Isn't your youth struggling so hard with learning Spanish in school? One of the easiest languages to learn? You should be proud of all these millions and millions of people in the world who try so hard to learn your language, just so YOU can keep conversing comfortably with them and ask little foreign girls --who deep down hope they sometimes speak at least a little bit like an American-- if they could pretend sounding like you, an "American."
XOXOXO. Happy Thursday AMUUUURICA.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Totally Tuesday
Totally Tuesday
Totally want:
Totally Groovy: Macklemore&Ryan Lewis
"Here we go back, this is the moment. Tonight is the night"
Totally Worth Seeing: Argo!
Totally True: Sometimes you have to be your own hero.
Totally in love with:
We live we learn. Oder auch: Hinterher weiss man immer mehr.
Mein erster Blog! Es war an der Zeit. Gerade heute habe ich mit ein paar anderen au pair Mädchen übers Bloggen geredet. Dabei hat sich herausgestellt, dass viele den Blog als eine Art Dokumentation ihres Auslandsaufenthaltes nutzen, damit man später noch weiß, was man so gemacht hat. Oder es ist eine Art Tagebuch und eigentlich nicht für die gesamte Öffentlichkeit gedacht.
Ich habe so lange für meinen Blog gebraucht, weil ich mir nämlich eben diese Fragen auch gestellt habe. Was möchte ich im Internet über mich preisgeben bzw. wie viel? Was ist der Sinn meines Blogs?Dabei habe ich festgestellt, dass ich den Sinn (m)eines Blogs darin sehe, Information und Gedanken zu teilen, und das ganz bewusst in der Öffentlichkeit. Ich finde den Gedanken schön, dass der Blog vielleicht inspiriert oder einfach Lust macht, mir in meiner Zeit nach der Uni zu folgen. Ich schnüffele ja selber gerne im Leben anderer Leute im Internet rum. Facebookfotos, Freunde von Freunden, Blogs, Reality TV, Klatschpresse. Ich liebe es alles. Ich kann nicht genau sagen, was der Reiz am "stalken" ist, aber es hat ganz bestimmt viel damit zu tun, das man gerne sein eigenes Leben mit dem anderer vergleicht und sich dann irgendwie positioniert. Vielleicht eine Krankheit oder gleichzeitig auch ein Segen unserer Generation: unser Leben ist nunmal digital dokumentiert und zugänglich und wir sind alle merh oder weniger vernetzt.
Aus dem Grund ist es ist ein bisschen schwierig, genau festzulegen was genau ich die Welt denn über mich wissen lassen möchte. Ich mache ja selber gerne "mein eigenes Ding" und wünsche nicht immer die Meinung anderer. Ich bin selbst gespannt, wie sich mein Blog entwickelt.
Es sind nun bereits sechs Monate USA vorbei und ein Gedanke ist immer präsent: You live you learn. Der Satz ist mir vor allem so präsent, weil ich habe die mehr oder weniger bescheuerte Eigenschaft (vielleicht geerbt), mir über jeden Quatsch Sorgen zu machen und sowieso ständig über alles nachzudenken. Aus diesem Grund schwirrt nicht nur "you live you learn" in meinem Kopf herum, sondern auch "choose faith over worry." Denn am Ende wird doch alles immer irgendwie gut. Vielleicht ein Ergebnis von gutem Karma und sowieso dem Sinn des Lebens. Damit das viele Nachdenken nicht zu viel wird muss man manchmal einfach mal die Dinge so nehmen wie sie sind und einfach daran Glauben, dass es einen Grund für alles Situationen gibt, in die man so reingerät.
Um eine der wichtigsten Lektionen, die ich in der letzten Zeit gelernt habe wusste Til Schweiger schon in Zweiohrküken: "Wenn man sich etwas wirklich wünscht, wenn man ganz fest dran glaubt, dass es in Erfüllung geht, dann passiert es auch.“ Ist nämlich so.
Ich hatte Glück im Unglück und habe schnell rausgefunden, dass ich das andere Amerika an der Ostküste nicht so fabelhaft finde. Glück deswegen, weil es Gold wert ist rauszufinden, was man nicht möchte. Unglück deswegen, weil es keine einfache Zeit war.
Ich war noch nie gut im Entscheidungen fällen, meine Entscheidungen haben aber auch noch nie wirklich jemand anders außer mich selbst betroffen bzw beeinflusst.
Nachdem ich mich trotz meiner Abneigung gegenüber der Mentalität und Stadt in DC schnelle eingelebt und an meinen Job und die Kinder gewöhnt habe, musste ich mich entscheiden, ob ich nochmal ganz von neu anfangen möchte, mit einer anderen Familie, woanders in den USA. Keine leichte Entscheidung, gerade, weil es eine egoistische Entscheidung ist. Am Ende muss man einfach alles drumherum ausblenden und nur für sich selbst entscheiden. Es gibt ja diesen schönen Vorsatz, nachdem man das Leben so leben soll, dass man am Ende nichts bereut. Utopisch, ist alles was ich dazu sagen kann. Es wäre natürlich schön, wenn das so ginge, aber in meinen vier Monaten Ostküste habe ich so oft gedacht: "hätte hätte Fahrradkette." Ist echt ein blödes Gefühl, zu merken, wie sehr Entscheidungen das Leben beeinflussen und wie sehr man doch auch zu seiner eigenen Zufriedenheit beitragen kann.
Letztendlich wurde klar, dass "hätte hätte" kein Dauerzustand werden konnte, deswegen war die Entscheidung Familien zu wechseln irgendwann kristallklar: Ich mach's. Nach viel zittern (wirklich!) und ganz viel Ungewissheit hab ich mir selbst nochmal schnell aus der Patsche geholfen. Pheeew.
Fast Forward: Seit zwei Monate in Colorado, Hundert Mal mehr Freiheit und eine große Portion glücklicher. Dazu kann ich nur sagen: irgendwie ist die Rechnung dann ja doch aufgegangen und hinterher weiß man SOVIEL mehr. Wäre es nicht schön wenn man nicht immer erst erleben müsste um zu lernen?
Ich habe so lange für meinen Blog gebraucht, weil ich mir nämlich eben diese Fragen auch gestellt habe. Was möchte ich im Internet über mich preisgeben bzw. wie viel? Was ist der Sinn meines Blogs?Dabei habe ich festgestellt, dass ich den Sinn (m)eines Blogs darin sehe, Information und Gedanken zu teilen, und das ganz bewusst in der Öffentlichkeit. Ich finde den Gedanken schön, dass der Blog vielleicht inspiriert oder einfach Lust macht, mir in meiner Zeit nach der Uni zu folgen. Ich schnüffele ja selber gerne im Leben anderer Leute im Internet rum. Facebookfotos, Freunde von Freunden, Blogs, Reality TV, Klatschpresse. Ich liebe es alles. Ich kann nicht genau sagen, was der Reiz am "stalken" ist, aber es hat ganz bestimmt viel damit zu tun, das man gerne sein eigenes Leben mit dem anderer vergleicht und sich dann irgendwie positioniert. Vielleicht eine Krankheit oder gleichzeitig auch ein Segen unserer Generation: unser Leben ist nunmal digital dokumentiert und zugänglich und wir sind alle merh oder weniger vernetzt.
Aus dem Grund ist es ist ein bisschen schwierig, genau festzulegen was genau ich die Welt denn über mich wissen lassen möchte. Ich mache ja selber gerne "mein eigenes Ding" und wünsche nicht immer die Meinung anderer. Ich bin selbst gespannt, wie sich mein Blog entwickelt.
Es sind nun bereits sechs Monate USA vorbei und ein Gedanke ist immer präsent: You live you learn. Der Satz ist mir vor allem so präsent, weil ich habe die mehr oder weniger bescheuerte Eigenschaft (vielleicht geerbt), mir über jeden Quatsch Sorgen zu machen und sowieso ständig über alles nachzudenken. Aus diesem Grund schwirrt nicht nur "you live you learn" in meinem Kopf herum, sondern auch "choose faith over worry." Denn am Ende wird doch alles immer irgendwie gut. Vielleicht ein Ergebnis von gutem Karma und sowieso dem Sinn des Lebens. Damit das viele Nachdenken nicht zu viel wird muss man manchmal einfach mal die Dinge so nehmen wie sie sind und einfach daran Glauben, dass es einen Grund für alles Situationen gibt, in die man so reingerät.
Um eine der wichtigsten Lektionen, die ich in der letzten Zeit gelernt habe wusste Til Schweiger schon in Zweiohrküken: "Wenn man sich etwas wirklich wünscht, wenn man ganz fest dran glaubt, dass es in Erfüllung geht, dann passiert es auch.“ Ist nämlich so.
Ich hatte Glück im Unglück und habe schnell rausgefunden, dass ich das andere Amerika an der Ostküste nicht so fabelhaft finde. Glück deswegen, weil es Gold wert ist rauszufinden, was man nicht möchte. Unglück deswegen, weil es keine einfache Zeit war.
Ich war noch nie gut im Entscheidungen fällen, meine Entscheidungen haben aber auch noch nie wirklich jemand anders außer mich selbst betroffen bzw beeinflusst.
Nachdem ich mich trotz meiner Abneigung gegenüber der Mentalität und Stadt in DC schnelle eingelebt und an meinen Job und die Kinder gewöhnt habe, musste ich mich entscheiden, ob ich nochmal ganz von neu anfangen möchte, mit einer anderen Familie, woanders in den USA. Keine leichte Entscheidung, gerade, weil es eine egoistische Entscheidung ist. Am Ende muss man einfach alles drumherum ausblenden und nur für sich selbst entscheiden. Es gibt ja diesen schönen Vorsatz, nachdem man das Leben so leben soll, dass man am Ende nichts bereut. Utopisch, ist alles was ich dazu sagen kann. Es wäre natürlich schön, wenn das so ginge, aber in meinen vier Monaten Ostküste habe ich so oft gedacht: "hätte hätte Fahrradkette." Ist echt ein blödes Gefühl, zu merken, wie sehr Entscheidungen das Leben beeinflussen und wie sehr man doch auch zu seiner eigenen Zufriedenheit beitragen kann.
Letztendlich wurde klar, dass "hätte hätte" kein Dauerzustand werden konnte, deswegen war die Entscheidung Familien zu wechseln irgendwann kristallklar: Ich mach's. Nach viel zittern (wirklich!) und ganz viel Ungewissheit hab ich mir selbst nochmal schnell aus der Patsche geholfen. Pheeew.
Fast Forward: Seit zwei Monate in Colorado, Hundert Mal mehr Freiheit und eine große Portion glücklicher. Dazu kann ich nur sagen: irgendwie ist die Rechnung dann ja doch aufgegangen und hinterher weiß man SOVIEL mehr. Wäre es nicht schön wenn man nicht immer erst erleben müsste um zu lernen?
Monday, February 25, 2013
Monday Favorites
Favorites of the Monday
Favorite unnecessity:
Freepeople Hair Chalk. Oh yeah.
Favorite Monday Activity:
Catching up on homework.
Favorite (and much needed) motivational quote:
Favorite memory of the past: JUICEEEY.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Favorites of the week
Favorites of the week: Die Woche in Bildern
Favorite Photo (Liebstes Foto): Good Times Good Place Good People
Favorite Artist (Liebste Musik): Big Boi. Missed his show in Boulder but now plays in my bathroom in the morning.
(Show in Boulder verpasst aber spielt jetzt morgens im Badezimmer). Time to wake up!
Favorite Quote (Liebstes Zitat): Ist doch war. Manchmal. So true, Sometimes
Favorite Website: http://losangelesallday.tumblr.com/
I adore this city. Weil ich L.A. liebe.
Favorite Text (Liebste SMS): Für Calli. Come on over.
Wherever you are, be all there.
Writing a blog about my current life has been a point on my to do list for a very long time. I have been very hesitant, for numerous reasons, mainly because I never knew what information I exactly wanted to share. I always knew that if I had a blog I'd want the information I share to be personal. However it couldn't be too personal but I would need to find a way that I can share the story of my life (and maybe yours) with the world, literally. It's the internet after all.
While finally setting up this new blog I learned that writing in English makes me express things differently. I wasn't really surprised by this but it became extra clear at this point. While I am quite immersed in American English and have a good vocabulary, the language will probably always stay somewhat abstract for me. Abstract in a good way, meaning that I can express myself more freely than in German. Maybe this is not only a unique feeling or experience limited to my individual perception. Think about all the successful music out there. It's mostly in English. Maybe there is something to the language that enables individuals, especially artists to express their feeling more precisely?
I will try to keep my blog bilingual, however, it will probably depend on my mood and state of mind of the day, sometimes there might be entries in only one or the other language.
I want the blog to be accessible for family and friends but also for anyone else who is interested in what I write. I find it exciting to have a platform to share my thoughts with a broad audience and have not yet made up my mind about whether I might want to limit that audience at some point.
Lately my life has been all about ADJUSTMENT and EXPLORING and REFLECTION. You would think that once you've been abroad several times, especially when always returning to the same country, there might not be much more new to explore, experience or get used to. Think again.
In these previous five months of being abroad here I have once again learned that America is a very diverse country with a lot of beauty and the same amount of flaws.
I raced (again, literally) into this year thinking "oh it's gonna be an easy one." Been there done that. Was abroad in high school, lived with a great family: awesome, fun! Was abroad in college, met the best people: amazing!
But no, being an au pair is a whole different story. It's about living with a family, ideally as a family member and employee at the same time. That in itself can be tough at times. In my case I had also shifted location to the East Coast, more precisely Washington DC, a place much different form small town Kansas or small town California.
From my personal point of view the only reason one would want to live in DC for is money, business, politics. Not my thing. At least not at this point in time. I had planned on doing the au pair program to get a break from all that career hassle. Looking back, I do not miss anything about DC as a city. I do miss the kids, they were great, and I surely appreciate having been able to experience life there. I have spent four months there and now know a lot more about what I do not want. Let me tell you, learning about what you don't want in life is a very good thing.
For those that don't know the story behind my first couple if months as an au pair, here is the short version, so that you can understand what I am even writing about: Arrived in DC, quickly learned that it's a different American in that part of the country. Thought A LOT about what to do. Considered the possibility of doing a "rematch", meaning finding a new family, without the chances of knowing where to end up or whether to end up anywhere at all. Went back and forth between rematch and no rematch on a daily basis. Had a lot of self-reflection and finally made the most difficult decision i have ever made in my life: yes, rematch. The happy end is: I ended up in Boulder, close to Kansas, close enough to California and in the middle of one of the most amazing states in the States. All in all: this is the California of the Midwest.
As happy as the end sounds, I am a very very sensitive person when it comes to thinking about other people's well-being. For reason unknown I oftentimes think that if I don't help, organize or stay, their world will break apart. I feel extremely guilty for not giving homeless people money or when I see someone sitting at a restaurant alone. The irony: I often love going places all by myself. In any case, a guilty conscience towards my DC host children is exactly what has made my decision of moving away from there so incredibly difficult. Even with all the stuff I disliked there, I got used to the place and my work quite easily.
I now know that the decision to come to Colorado was right, but I still think about about leaving those children "behind" (I know it's not nearly so dramatic) and in some way interrupting their lives. However I am sure they are fine and I now have new little pumpkins who I can worry about.
Therefore, in the end the lesson that I have learned from all this is that it is important to solely look out for oneself at times. Other people can contribute to your happiness but they will not make you happy if you aren't so yourself. Being egoistic has a very negative connotation but I guess there is something like being egoistic for the right reasons.
Something to think about at the end of my first blog entry. And also: somebody once said: "wherever you are, be all there." I love this quote because it's something I want to live by but I always find myself questioning: what does it take to live up to this quote?
German version of this post coming soon!
While finally setting up this new blog I learned that writing in English makes me express things differently. I wasn't really surprised by this but it became extra clear at this point. While I am quite immersed in American English and have a good vocabulary, the language will probably always stay somewhat abstract for me. Abstract in a good way, meaning that I can express myself more freely than in German. Maybe this is not only a unique feeling or experience limited to my individual perception. Think about all the successful music out there. It's mostly in English. Maybe there is something to the language that enables individuals, especially artists to express their feeling more precisely?
I will try to keep my blog bilingual, however, it will probably depend on my mood and state of mind of the day, sometimes there might be entries in only one or the other language.
I want the blog to be accessible for family and friends but also for anyone else who is interested in what I write. I find it exciting to have a platform to share my thoughts with a broad audience and have not yet made up my mind about whether I might want to limit that audience at some point.
Lately my life has been all about ADJUSTMENT and EXPLORING and REFLECTION. You would think that once you've been abroad several times, especially when always returning to the same country, there might not be much more new to explore, experience or get used to. Think again.
In these previous five months of being abroad here I have once again learned that America is a very diverse country with a lot of beauty and the same amount of flaws.
I raced (again, literally) into this year thinking "oh it's gonna be an easy one." Been there done that. Was abroad in high school, lived with a great family: awesome, fun! Was abroad in college, met the best people: amazing!
But no, being an au pair is a whole different story. It's about living with a family, ideally as a family member and employee at the same time. That in itself can be tough at times. In my case I had also shifted location to the East Coast, more precisely Washington DC, a place much different form small town Kansas or small town California.
From my personal point of view the only reason one would want to live in DC for is money, business, politics. Not my thing. At least not at this point in time. I had planned on doing the au pair program to get a break from all that career hassle. Looking back, I do not miss anything about DC as a city. I do miss the kids, they were great, and I surely appreciate having been able to experience life there. I have spent four months there and now know a lot more about what I do not want. Let me tell you, learning about what you don't want in life is a very good thing.
For those that don't know the story behind my first couple if months as an au pair, here is the short version, so that you can understand what I am even writing about: Arrived in DC, quickly learned that it's a different American in that part of the country. Thought A LOT about what to do. Considered the possibility of doing a "rematch", meaning finding a new family, without the chances of knowing where to end up or whether to end up anywhere at all. Went back and forth between rematch and no rematch on a daily basis. Had a lot of self-reflection and finally made the most difficult decision i have ever made in my life: yes, rematch. The happy end is: I ended up in Boulder, close to Kansas, close enough to California and in the middle of one of the most amazing states in the States. All in all: this is the California of the Midwest.
As happy as the end sounds, I am a very very sensitive person when it comes to thinking about other people's well-being. For reason unknown I oftentimes think that if I don't help, organize or stay, their world will break apart. I feel extremely guilty for not giving homeless people money or when I see someone sitting at a restaurant alone. The irony: I often love going places all by myself. In any case, a guilty conscience towards my DC host children is exactly what has made my decision of moving away from there so incredibly difficult. Even with all the stuff I disliked there, I got used to the place and my work quite easily.
I now know that the decision to come to Colorado was right, but I still think about about leaving those children "behind" (I know it's not nearly so dramatic) and in some way interrupting their lives. However I am sure they are fine and I now have new little pumpkins who I can worry about.
Therefore, in the end the lesson that I have learned from all this is that it is important to solely look out for oneself at times. Other people can contribute to your happiness but they will not make you happy if you aren't so yourself. Being egoistic has a very negative connotation but I guess there is something like being egoistic for the right reasons.
Something to think about at the end of my first blog entry. And also: somebody once said: "wherever you are, be all there." I love this quote because it's something I want to live by but I always find myself questioning: what does it take to live up to this quote?
German version of this post coming soon!
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